The Mystical Box Shoe
by Triwood
Summary: This is a spoof on advertisements themselves. It's hillarious and random. Hope you like it.
1. Default Chapter

The Mystical Box Shoe  
  
Andrea , your typical teenage girl, was at home on a Friday night watching television. Apparently there was nothing on. She flipped through the channels in hope of a fairly decent show. As she was searching, she stopped when she caught eye of a new infomercial. Something about the "Mystical Box Shoe."  
  
ANDREA: (Scratches her head) The Mystical Box Shoe? What kind of product is that?  
  
In order for her to find out more, she would have to listen to the infomercial carefully. So, she turned up the volume and sat back. This guy apparently named The Mystical Box Guy began to introduce himself.  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: (Hovering over a crystal ball) MYSTICAL! (The next scene shows him walking down the street singing the "Mystical Box" rap) Hey, I'm The Mystical Box Guy and I come to say. if you don't buy my product I'll bite your face! Hey, hey, hey! Yo, yo, yo, yo!  
  
This is obviously not your ordinary infomercial. The next scene shows The Mystical Box Guy explaining why you should buy his product. Andrea is even more curious than before.  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: (He speaks with a totally phony Jamaican accent) This heá product could change your life for eva. If you wish for three wishes while wearing the Mystical Box Shoe they will surely come thru. The Mystical Box Shoe is availiable for 68.95. payments of $68.95! It also comes en five excitin' colours: white, off-white, pale-yellow, brown, and Mystical Grey. Who wooden want theese product? Let's talk to someone who owns a Mystical Box Shoe.  
  
The camera turns 180· to the left to reveal a "happy" owner of the Mystical Box Shoe. She looks kind of familiar, until we see her face. Then Andrea notices that she does know her.  
  
NIKKI: (Looks to a 24" by 12" cue card that is being held up in the audience) Hi, I'm. Monique Ramos. I'm a proud owner of "The Mystical Box Shoe." Boy did it really change my life! I wouldn't be able to live without it. (Looks away from the cue card and speaks the truth) Actually, I'd do better without it. But I must warn you. If you don't buy this product (whispers) you will SUFFER a slow, painful, AGONIZING death. Trust me on this one.  
  
An angered host speaks out.  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: (Loses his Jamaican accent) ALRIGHT NIKKI! THAT'S ENOUGH! I mean, hey mon. That's enuff.  
  
Andrea is totally creeped out by this infomercial that she turns off the television. She doesn't want to take any changes so she turns on the TV to jot down the phone number. After accomplishing that she calls to order a Mystical Box Shoe. They say they will send it to her immediately and could have it for three months free of charge. After this phone call, she waits for her Mystical Box Shoe.  
  
After 5 long weeks of anxiety, the Mystical Bow Shoe finally arrives. As soon as she opens the package she decides on what her three wishes should be. She's pretty definite on the first two, but not too sure on the last. She makes a short list of ideas on a piece of paper that looks like this:  
  
Three Wishes  
Wor World Peace  
Ability of making cartoon char characters come to life  
Magical Powers Meeting Elijah Wood?  
  
After a solid five minutes of hard thinking she makes her final  
decision. She slips on the Mystical Box Shoe and wonders. ANDREA: (Looking down at her Mystical Box Shoe) So, I'm supposed to put this on and make a wish? Well, might as well try. (Closes her eyes and clenches her fist) I wish for world peace! (A sudden electrical pain shot up her spine) Oww! What was that?!  
  
She suddenly drops to the ground in pain. Was this supposed to happen? She wasn't sure but didn't care anymore once she heard a sonic boom come from outside.  
  
ANDREA: (Has a distraught look on her face) Missiles? (A cold hand touches her shoulder. She spins around to find out that it is none other than The Mystical Box Guy) [Gasp] It's you! What are you doing here and what's going on?  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: What's goin' on? What do you mean? Did you not ask for world peace?  
  
ANDREA: Yes, but missiles?  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: What better way to ask for world peace by destroying all living beings? I mean without them, the world would really be in peace. Plus it's not like you specified your wish or anything.  
  
ANDREA: WHA? You never said anything like this would happen!  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: You neva asked!  
  
Anger quickly crossed Andrea's face as she heard his response. She raised a closed fist to his face.  
  
ANDREA: What can I do to make it stop?  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: Make another wish of course!  
  
Well there goes one of Andrea's thought out wishes down the drain. But she does what she has to do. Saving mankind is a lot better than her selfish needs.  
  
ANDREA: (Closes her eyes) I wish that my previous wish was never granted!  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: (He smirks) That's a bit beta. (Looks away from Andrea) But remember that you have only one wish left. Make it somethin' sensible for God's sake!  
  
Andrea was too lost in the moment that she wasn't quite as careful as she needed to be. She mustered up enough courage to go on with her last wish.  
  
ANDREA: Hey, I might as well go on with my last wish and make it something that would benefit me. I'm being a little selfish now, but after that first wish who cares! (Closes her eyes) I WISH THAT ELIJAH JORDAN WOOD WOULD COME THROUGH THAT VERY DOOR (Points to door) IN FIVE MINUTES JUST TO MEET ME! (Wipes forehead) There, that should be good enough.  
  
For the span of five minutes, Andrea paces back and forth in her kitchen waiting for her wish to come true. She's so excited that she doesn't even pay attention to what she's doing. So on the forth minute, she accidentally trips over a stool, crashes through the glass of her back door, and smashes her head on the concrete.  
  
Lo and behold her wish had come true. For at the end of the forth minute, Elijah Wood came to her back door and boy did he meet her! Elijah was stunned by the lifeless body laying in pool of blood on the back porch. The Mystical Box Guy comes out to put his 2 cents in. 


	2. Part 2

THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: [Tisk tisk] Even after I told her to be more specific with her wishes she still goes out and makes a stupid mistake like that. Ah well. (Points to Elijah) There is a visitor waiting for you in theá. Monique Ramos, it is. And heá (Points to the Mystical Box Shoe) can you make good use of it unlike she (points to Andrea) did?  
  
ELIJAH: What's it do?  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: It grants you any three wishes your heart desires. Are you interested?  
  
ELIJAH: Yeah! Gimmie that! (Lunges at the Mystical Box Shoe)  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: (Pulls it away) Ah, ah, ah! That'll be 68.95. payments of $68.95!  
  
ELIJAH WOOD: Sure whatever. (Hands him the first payment and takes the Mystical Box Shoe) Thanks! (Walks into the house)  
  
The Mystical Box Guy walks away from Andrea's ex-house. He looks straight at the camera and speaks out loud.  
  
THE MYSTICAL BOX GUY: HA! Little does Elijah know what fate has in store for him! (Laughs maniacally)  
  
THE END 


End file.
